Get Ready To Cry Goths, That CROW Reboot Is Back On – UPDATED

Ok, goth kids. It’s time to bust out your best waterproof make-up, or don’t since the tear-smears make for such cool pictures, because I’ve got some news that’s going to break your cold, black hearts: the lawsuit that stalled production of the Crow reboot has been settled. The project is back on.

Relativity Media, the studio trying to produce to film, told that

The lawsuit between Relativity Media and The Weinstein Company concerning The Crow has been amicably settled out of court, and the parties will continue to work on the film together as planned. In addition, Relativity Media has dismissed all of its claims against The Weinstein Company for any wrongdoing regarding the release and distribution of Nine, and The Weinstein Company has dismissed all of its claims against Relativity Media.

So, it’s the end of a disagreement about a movie Tim Burton produced that’s going to allow a new Crow movie to be made. Are you even equipped to handle this? Are the nation’s middle schools prepared for this overflow of mope?

At any rate, this movie’s been going through development for years. Back in 2009, Blade director Stephen Norrington was going to shoot the thing. Briefly from a script by Nick Cave (yes, of “Red Right Hand” fame). This was the only time the project would be interesting. This team would be replaced by 28 Weeks Later director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo and Watchmen co-writer Alex Tse. A parade of terrible choices for the lead ensued, including Bradley Cooper, Mark Wahlberg, Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling.

Every step along the way, fans died just a little bit more inside. Now that the lawsuit’s settled, the producers are starting fresh. They don’t have a director, a writer, or a star. But whomever they choose is sure to inspire some very deep Tumblr images.

UPDATE 1/24 7:28 PM

Damn, that was fast. This new take on The Crow already has a new writer and director. Deadline is reporting that F. Javier Gutierrez is set to direct a script by Jesse Wigutow, as soon as Wingutow’s contract is signed. Gutierrez’s meteor-crash film Before the Fall has received… mixed reviews, and Wingutow’s family drama It Runs In the Family has a whopping 28% at Rotten Tomatoes. Take what you want from this information.

Skott Stotland is a thousand monkeys in a people costume. They have been writing for the internet for over a decade.

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